Don’t want…anymore

Don’t want to eat anymore

Don’t want to drink anymore

Don’t want to move anymore

Don’t want to talk anymore

Don’t want to work anymore

Don’t want to wash anymore

Don’t want to brush anymore

Don’t want to comb anymore

Don’t want to love anymore

Don’t want to hate anymore

Don’t want to breath anymore

Don’t want to try anymore

Don’t want to read anymore

Don’t want to write anymore

Don’t want to sing anymore

Don’t want to dance anymore

Don’t want to play anymore

Don’t want to do anymore

Don’t want to live anymore

Don’t want to laugh anymore

Don’t want to cry anymore

Don’t want to be me anymore

Don’t want anything anymore

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It Hurts…

It hurts so bad when you are sad

Tears pour out from the eyes in bulk

You want to wipe but it doesn’t help

There’s this pain in the heart and body

You are twitching in pain as if you are going to die

You feel like dying and ending the pain for once

You think of all the bad that has happened to you

And curse yourself for having such a dreaded life

You lament again till the pain crushes your nerves

And then it creeps into your brains and swallows it up

You are tormented mentally and emotionally

And challenge yourself to abuse you physically

You think of the ways to end your fucking life

And do all the googles and searches for it

You have no solutions and you cease to think anymore

Realizing you have the worst life amongst all that you know

You have riches and comfort which many do not have

But you do not have what many others have

And that thing of importance which you lack

The thing which matters the most to you is Happiness.

 

 

Introducing Vanars’

In one of the cave dwellings very close to Nila, there lived a Vanar. It was not the typical kind of cave which is often dark with a pungent smell and eerie filled with scary wild animals nor was it a desolated cave in ruins with creepers and cobwebs: it was in all sense a Vanar home and that means it was inhabitable.

It had a big door made of wood which didn’t have a handle nor did it have a lock. It was painted in the colour of rosewood which is the costliest wood available in the areas around Nila. There was a small creak on the side on the door which was used to either open or close the door. Most of the time the door stayed shut because there were minimal knocks and minimal outings. Once inside, it never looked like a cave dwelling at all. The floor was almost the colour of sunshine ray painted using cattle dung waste. The wet cattle dung was spread on the floor and then allowed to dry, giving the floor the current colour and texture. There was no chairs or tables as expected because this Vanar never entertained anyone inside, he scarcely had any visitors. And then inside was the small kitchen with some wooden ladles and some plates, from where if you looked out, you could see the birds flying outside or taking rest on the trees across Nila. This was the only window in the entire cave through which fresh air actually entered the home. Vanars’ usually slept on the floor spreading themselves and being as close to the ground or Mother Earth.

This Vanar belonged to Manha, one of the wealthiest families of Vanars’. Other Vanars’ used to admire the strength and valour of Manhains, as they used to fight fiercely with the wild animals. They also protected others, making them more or less the uncrowned kings among the Vanars. But wait, who are the so called Vanars’? That is certainly a very important question which needs a bit of explanation because when was the last time you actually met a Vanar.

Vanars’ are a small group of people living in forests. Most of them lived in and around the Nila which was their main source of water for cooking, swimming, drinking and other daily activities. They are a little taller people, with rough habits and possessing amazing strengths. Because of their strengths, they were often fondly called as semi-Gods or demi-Gods. They spoke in the simplest of languages and used the simplest of words to talk and they hardly spend time chitchatting with others even amongst themselves. They rarely interacted with people outside their group, the truth is no other people really liked them for their looks and large structures. They had this peculiar face which resembled monkeys and for which they were teased by other people which made them self-aware of their limitations making them to stay indoors or in the forest or atleast on top of trees wherein others couldn’t spot them easily. They are brown in colour, all of them with rougher and tougher skins which helped them survive in the wilds. They rarely got hurt while climbing up trees or running barefoot on the ground. They covered themselves with leaves strung together with the help of tree strings. They always went for fresher leaves, they never liked it when it turned brown. So most of their time was spend on making these leaf clothes for themselves and sometimes they adored it with wild flowers. The more leaves and flowers with which they covered themselves, the more beautiful they looked or so they thought. They ate wild animals, no, not raw but in a semi cooked way when you compare with others. The animal flesh was cut into large pieces, and put into an earthen pot of boiling water from the Nila along with a pinch of wild grass and when the boiling water started changing colour, that’s when the cooking was complete with the flesh being neither too hard nor too soft as those enjoyed by humans. Even though they longed to be friends with the Manushas’ (the human race) or atleast interact with them and their new technologies and advancements, however they knew they were unwelcomed in any Manusha home, and so they shut their desires and went on with their forest lives.

I bought, It went South

I bought Credit Card, bank balance went south

I bought Shares, it turned red

I bought Silver, it melted on a Chart

I bought land, it turned into a desert

I work 9 to 9, still asked to stretch

I got hike, wallet is still empty.

I bought lakeside home, lake became dump yard

I bought car, gas price shot up.

I bought apartment, started paying every month.

I paid electricity bill, I sit in dark