Purpose of My Life!

Get disturbed from my sleeps in the wake of morns
By the sound of my alarm buzzing and vehicle horns
With a grumby face and two half open eyes
I place my shaky lazy legs on the room floor
Wondering if this is ‘the Purpose of My Life’

Follow the custom to clean my bowels
Brush and Paste rubbed all over the teeth
Face wash, scrub and cold water all over my face
Tidy the hair and massage with coconut oil
I look into the mirror and ask ‘Is this the purpose of My Life?’

Toast up the bread and the egg into a bull’s eye
If there is no time, just add milk into the cornflakes
Gulp it all down while reading the news
Well I have no time to enjoy the taste or concentrate
With a thought in my mind, ‘Is this the purpose of My Life?’

Pick the first matching paired clothes from the clothes heap
Iron it up and finish your bath in a quicky
No time to enjoy the water droplets on your body
Just wipe it clean with a damp towel
Put on the clothes and think, ‘Is this the purpose of My Life?’

The sprays and creams, balms and moisturisers
All are applied in under 5 minutes due to routine
No time to admire your face or body
And to check if you put on weight or lost some
Rush rush to the roads wondering, ‘ What is the purpose of My Life?’

Traverse through the myriad of traffic and pollution
With a heavy laptop on shoulders and moving like a snail
Reach the office parking lot and keep waiting for the lift
It takes 10 minutes more to reach the cubicle
Think in the lift, ‘ Is this the purpose of My Life?’

Say a number of hi’s to strangers sitting around
I hardly know them for their fame but not name
Rush for the Coffee machine to keep me awake
Click here, type there, send some mails and spread gossips
Well, this seems like ‘ the purpose of My Life!’

Lunchtime almost so go out with strangers
Talk and gossip on world issues that hardly matter
Heavy stomach sleepy, sip some more coffee
Type something, click somewhere, go for meetings
This is exactly, ‘ the purpose of My Life!’

Start for home in the late evenings to support again
Stretch and work is the motto of life
Order food, eat while attending meetings
Talk with family for hardly a minute
I am so busy, ‘this is the purpose of My Life!’

So exhausted, decide to sleep, watch a series or two
It’s close to midnight, my eyes are already shut
Drag myself to bed and cover myself up
The day has come to a close to begin the circle again
It’s fate, I should follow ‘ the purpose of My Life!’

I hate Medical Checkups

Once in a while you have to endure this disgusting yet mandatory checkup. I know it is for your own good, you come to know lot of stuffs about yourself, what to do, what not to do, what to eat, what not to eat etc etc blah blah but still I have to say this, I hate them.

So you go with a long list of tests that are part of your package and which you will have to somehow complete. You stand in a long queue (not because I was late, people already thronged in before sunrise) waiting for your turn and hand over the paper saying you want these tests to be done and fill up a form.

Remember you are on 12 hours of fasting. First one is the blood test. They pierce a hole into your vein and drain out 3 bottles of blood (kidding, 3 tubes of blood). I am scared of needles and the sight of blood makes me puke most of the time. So I look to the other side while am being drained of my hard earned blood when the nurse asks me, ” are you alright?” I nod my head in affirmation without uttering a word because if I open my mouth, I might prove otherwise.

Next, you are handed over a dabba to fill in with your urine sample, yes it might be from the previous day. A tray is shown were you have to deposit your sample once collected. You know the same tray contains samples from others, yellow, dark yellow, brown colours… Anyway, I take my dabba to the restroom to collect my specimen. In the rush I forget to keep the dabba ready and all the liquid is wasted and there is less than 20% in the dabba. I try to generate pressure to squeeze more urine but no way, it is empty. The moment when you get so angry at your bladders for not producing enough urine as and when required. I wait, walk inside the restroom to create urine inside the bladder. After what seemed like 10 minutes, I get some urine again and fill the dabba, close the dabba, lest the nectar falls out and takes it to the tray. Even though its my own urine, I don’t like it when people look at me whilst am carrying the specimen. I hid it behind my hands and deposit it somehow.

What’s next? The chest x-ray. Seeing my 40k golden chain, the x-ray specialist asks me to get rid of it. And then she guides me to a changing room where she asks me to remove my upper garments and change into a checkered one piece clothing. Such a confusing dressing which made me feel like am cross dressing. I am asked to stand on a plate with my chin resting and asked to take a deep breath while the x-ray happens. Done! I like it for the fact that it is quick. And then I change to my own clothing again.

Next is the ECG, matters of my heart. Here again top garments are not allowed or rolled up. Some jelly is applied on hands on legs and on chest area. Spooky spongy clippings are attached on legs and hands which makes you think you are handcuffed and legcuffed before a fifty shades of grey night. Then some vacuum weirdos are placed on your chests and you are asked to relax. Well I can’t relax at all in this condition when its chilling cold with these metal pieces clamped onto my body. And then its completed. You are handed one tissue to wipe off the jelly, all of it.

Next is the breakfast, that is served free (or included already in the package) – 3 idlis and 1 vada served with sambhar, chutney and saucy tomato chutney. By this time, I was super hungry and I can’t even say whether it was tasty or not. I just pushed down the food into my mouth like someone who hasn’t seen food for a month.

Now I have to wait for 2 hours for my next blood sample to be taken. Oh crap! What do I do? I call up random people, do browsing and then bang! No charge in mobile, best time for the mobile to betray my only ray of hope! I walk, I sit, again repeat, watch others etc etc for 2 hours and then again blood taken in a small tube. ‘You people made me wait so long for this?’

Next the fitness doctor, I seriously don’t know what he does. Checked my eyes and hands and wrote a letter, ‘ drink 3 litres of water daily’. I said okay and that’s it the dreaded health check came to an end. Now I have to come tomorrow to collect my reports.

Let Me Tell A Story – 1

I came across The Storytellers  in Youtube very recently. It’s really amazing to notice the fact that a simple story told in an efficient way garnished with the right blend of emotions and voice modulations can grip an audience until the end of the story. The stories were different but all of them had a common element – an element of life, of purity, of feelings…The stories weren’t something totally new, they were told differently, drawn from personal experiences. Anyway I decided to tell one such story.

This event happened some 15-20 years back, a time when the world was not connected with internet and social media to this extend. So during those days, people used to visit their relatives more often than these days. It was a weekend and as usual after lunch and a small nap, we decided to go to my aunt’s house. We includes my dad, mom and my little sister, who was hardly 4 years back then.

So we went by our car – Maruti Zen white, and parked it in the porch which we had to share with my uncle’s old scooter. Ok, my uncle never owned a car but the porch was large enough for a car. He only had an old scooter which he parked right in the middle of the porch. So when our car came in, the oldie had to be shifted aside to give way to our Maruti.

Anyway we all went in and were having this evening gossip and chit chats along with some hot tea and snacks which aunt had prepared. Aunt is a good cook, I must say. Somewhere, during the course of this busy chitchatting, my sister got bored, extremely bored. So she went out to the porch alone.

Now the remaining part of the story is what she told me at a later day.

So she went out to the porch alone. She saw uncle’s old scooter, it was a Bajaj Chetak, you know the old type of scooter that looked something like this.

Hamara Bajaj to make comeback this year

It had a stepney tyre which had a cover that read the most famous punchline of Bajaj ” You Just Can’t Beat a Bajaj”. I mentioned my sister was extremely bored that day and for some reason she was in a bitter mood. So on seeing the punchline, she took it literally ” Why can’t I beat a bajaj?” ” who is there to stop me?” “What will happen?” and she started beating the bike seat left and right hard exclaiming to herself ” I beat a Bajaj”

After a while, she again got bored of beating the seat and decided to come inside. Then suddenly something dawned on her, ” Why did I beat the bike?” “It is poor uncle’s poor bike. What wrong did it do?” She felt bad for the bike and then she started pacifying the bike seat with her hands. She rubbed her hands over the seat assuming the bike seat would feel relieved of the pain that her beating had caused.

At that moment, she recalled, “You Just Can’t Beat A Bajaj” 🙂

 

That’s when you make lemonade!

When no one comes to your aid
When you realize you are self made
When you ought to decide unsaid
That’s when you make lemonade.

When everyone bitches around you
When they are mostly aimed at you
When life gives lemons to you
That’s when you make lemonade.

When you wanna bury yourself
When you start loosing yourself
When you cry all by yourself
That’s when you make lemonade.

The City of Doom

Standing on my terrace

I glance at the roads

All I see is traffic

Moving slower than a snail.

I look up at the skies

To catch a glimpse of it

Twinkle twinkle little star

All I see is a single star.

I walk a while on the terrace

My legs are covered in dust

My body sweats hell a lot

As the heat wave strikes me hard.

I open up the taps to cleanse

Myself, from the dust and sweat

Only a single drop drips from it

My body has more droplets though.

So hot and dry, so stagnant and busy

So noisy and dusty, a city that never sleeps

Is Bengaluru still the garden city?

Or has it become the City of Doom?

 

 

 

How to Become Bad

All I wanna do is just drink drink drink

And then go out for a smoke smoke smoke

You might think what am just blabbering

Because this is all I know how to become bad.

I asked my girl if I could get a tattoo

She asked me back why I wanted to

I told her that’s how am planning to become bad

She gave me a huge lecture that was a huge bang.

All day I think of ending myself

Or think, ‘better I wait for WW3’

Well neither of the two does actually happen

Then I start cribbing and sobbing about it.

 

The Sarpa Kavu at My Ancestral Home

My ancestral home brings me this nostalgic feeling, I’m miles and miles away from my ancestral home but the thoughts and memories surrounding it seems to remain so fresh akin to a newly blossomed flower.

I am a huge fan of mythical beings like witches, vampires, lycans, magic and all those stuffs that keep you enthralled because you really don’t know if there was any truth in them. Again I am absolutely fascinated by the mythology of different religions, how the stories blend so well, how they maintain continuity and the vast extend to which it was able to capture people that they still preach from them, follow them, write, discuss and debate about it. The thought process, the way the stories are told are beyond any one of today. Imagine the most famous book of today, maybe Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings or let’s say Shakespearean texts. After a 1000 years, will anyone still be discussing about them? I really doubt that. But these traditions and customs that are imbibed with religion, they surely are going to survive the test of time.

Anyway, my ancestral home which no more exists with the same glory of past years is where I wish to start talking about. I am not talking about the home, it was a normal home with thatched roofs and many cool rooms even at the peak of summer. The home was surrounded by a dense forest kind of plantation where different trees grew with many birds around. The crows and the cuckoos and the squirrels and the rats 😀 It was so close to nature that today if you visit a zoo, you would see less of  fauna and flora comparatively.

In that dense forest was (and it is still there) a tree, a very old  and large one. It was so tall I used to think it was touching the skies. It had a very big bark, it would take 6-8 little hands to wrap around it once. It was always full of leaves but the leaves were at such heights I really didn’t know how they looked like until they fell down all dry and crumbled.

Now this tree used to have a sarpa kavu (abode of snake) adjacent to it. My ancestors had bought this land from the then inhabitants of the place who used to worship the snakes. They used to have this poojas to feed and please the snakes by offering milk and other offerings, you know the usual deity offerings. After they sold the land, which was some 6-7 generations of me, no one from my ancestors actually bothered about the tree and the sarpa kavu. It was there somewhere in the forest, and none of us went anywhere near it. We were actually forbidden from doing so, with some tales of snakes following us and biting us or bringing bad luck if we disturbed that area. Also not to go anywhere around it after 6 pm. Truth or myth, we followed just like we follow all our traditions and rituals without even knowing the significance of it.

When I was a kid, I belonged to the naughty kid category and so along with my cousins I have went as far as near the tree and touched it with my bare hands. My cousins had shouted at me and warned me that they would inform the elders leading to some small favours I had to do so as to avoid the secret from coming out. That’s fun, isn’t it?

In the recent years, the relatives who are currently owners of the land where the tree is, wanted to cut down the tree for money as they were in some financial crunches. Generations later, we always have this thought process, all the stories are fake, hence why not go ahead and cut it down. Still, a saint and a priest were called to get their opinions. (Ya, in matters of religion, it is always better to get opinions from people of different religion).

This meet up led to the shedding of more shocking information. The tree in question is the living abode of a king Naga and there is a Nagamanikyam, a precious gem costing millions under the tree which the Naga is protecting so if anyone dares to cut the tree, him and all will go through the wrath of Naga and all snakes and will be burnt to death. This instilled so much fear in all of us, we decided to find some other way to get money forget cutting it.

The greed for gem prompted us to ask the inevitable question, ‘so will we ever get the gem if we don’t disturb the tree?’ The answer was, I don’t know if it is true or false or just a getaway answer. It was, ‘as long as the Naga is protecting the gem, the tree will be alive, it can be 100 years, 500 years or a 1000 years. After that the Naga will leave and the tree will dry out on its own. At that time, whoever owns the land can clear the tree and its surrounding. now about the gem, the Naga will decide whether to leave the gem to the owners (our future generations) or to take it with him, no one knows for sure’. This is like the funniest answer we had ever heard.

In short, the present generation should have no hope to harness the riches of the gem, a future generation down the line could 🙂

“Even If It hurts You”

I will do what I want, Even if it hurts you

I will call your ‘friends’ bitch, Even if it hurts you

I will eat street food, Even if it hurts you

I will try to correct you, Even if it hurts you

You do What you want to do, Masala tea!!

——————————————-

You break the Decree, Even if it hurts me

Your level zero mentality is OK, Even if it hurts me

You lie black and white, Even if it hurts me

You take me for granted, Even if it hurts me

You do What you want to do, Masala tea!!

——————————————-

I get angry at your stupid logic, Even if it hurts you

I am super jealous of your popularity, Even if it hurts you

I don’t like you in Western attires, Even if it hurts you

I don’t like you in make overs, Even if it hurts you

You do What you want to do, Masala tea!!

———————————————

 

Learning to Drive A Car – Day 10

Oh finally the final day. How I wished it just ended.

Started, moved into traffic, spend 15 minutes in there. In that 3-4 times the car stopped. With this knowledge level, am I confident to take a car out? A big NO. Am I confident? Another big NO. Totally disappointed by the training offered.

I am actually wondering if all driving classes are taken in a similar fashion by other driving schools. See I mentioned another driver who taught well in one day. Am very thankful to that guy.

Maybe I had a wrong driver to teach. Imparting knowledge is an art. Only some can do it. The one who taught me certainly couldn’t.

I don’t know when is the next time I would lay hands on a car and improvise my meager learning. Anyway looking ahead for the opportunity.

Verdict: I wouldn’t recommend this driver to anyone.

Learning to Drive A Car – Day 9

The penultimate day of driving. It lasted 50 minutes. Nothing new. First and second gear. It was all about clutch brake maintain. I was able to cruise with minimal guidance on steering but am least sure of the clutch brake controls.

All through the drive, the driver was getting calls from the owner telling he didn’t pick another person at the same time, then he was explaining he called and it was out of reach and then he called that person and that person told he waited. Too much story leading to lack of concentration.

1 U turn, 1 reverse was done.

I just don’t know if this is all they teach in any driving school or is it just at this place. It’s like taking for the drive just to finish the hours. What’s the satisfaction that the driver gets? The satisfaction for imparting knowledge? I don’t think so. The satisfaction of having got all the money? Definitely yes!