That’s when you make lemonade!

When no one comes to your aid
When you realize you are self made
When you ought to decide unsaid
That’s when you make lemonade.

When everyone bitches around you
When they are mostly aimed at you
When life gives lemons to you
That’s when you make lemonade.

When you wanna bury yourself
When you start loosing yourself
When you cry all by yourself
That’s when you make lemonade.

The City of Doom

Standing on my terrace

I glance at the roads

All I see is traffic

Moving slower than a snail.

I look up at the skies

To catch a glimpse of it

Twinkle twinkle little star

All I see is a single star.

I walk a while on the terrace

My legs are covered in dust

My body sweats hell a lot

As the heat wave strikes me hard.

I open up the taps to cleanse

Myself, from the dust and sweat

Only a single drop drips from it

My body has more droplets though.

So hot and dry, so stagnant and busy

So noisy and dusty, a city that never sleeps

Is Bengaluru still the garden city?

Or has it become the City of Doom?

 

 

 

How to Become Bad

All I wanna do is just drink drink drink

And then go out for a smoke smoke smoke

You might think what am just blabbering

Because this is all I know how to become bad.

I asked my girl if I could get a tattoo

She asked me back why I wanted to

I told her that’s how am planning to become bad

She gave me a huge lecture that was a huge bang.

All day I think of ending myself

Or think, ‘better I wait for WW3’

Well neither of the two does actually happen

Then I start cribbing and sobbing about it.

 

The Sarpa Kavu at My Ancestral Home

My ancestral home brings me this nostalgic feeling, I’m miles and miles away from my ancestral home but the thoughts and memories surrounding it seems to remain so fresh akin to a newly blossomed flower.

I am a huge fan of mythical beings like witches, vampires, lycans, magic and all those stuffs that keep you enthralled because you really don’t know if there was any truth in them. Again I am absolutely fascinated by the mythology of different religions, how the stories blend so well, how they maintain continuity and the vast extend to which it was able to capture people that they still preach from them, follow them, write, discuss and debate about it. The thought process, the way the stories are told are beyond any one of today. Imagine the most famous book of today, maybe Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings or let’s say Shakespearean texts. After a 1000 years, will anyone still be discussing about them? I really doubt that. But these traditions and customs that are imbibed with religion, they surely are going to survive the test of time.

Anyway, my ancestral home which no more exists with the same glory of past years is where I wish to start talking about. I am not talking about the home, it was a normal home with thatched roofs and many cool rooms even at the peak of summer. The home was surrounded by a dense forest kind of plantation where different trees grew with many birds around. The crows and the cuckoos and the squirrels and the rats 😀 It was so close to nature that today if you visit a zoo, you would see less of  fauna and flora comparatively.

In that dense forest was (and it is still there) a tree, a very old  and large one. It was so tall I used to think it was touching the skies. It had a very big bark, it would take 6-8 little hands to wrap around it once. It was always full of leaves but the leaves were at such heights I really didn’t know how they looked like until they fell down all dry and crumbled.

Now this tree used to have a sarpa kavu (abode of snake) adjacent to it. My ancestors had bought this land from the then inhabitants of the place who used to worship the snakes. They used to have this poojas to feed and please the snakes by offering milk and other offerings, you know the usual deity offerings. After they sold the land, which was some 6-7 generations of me, no one from my ancestors actually bothered about the tree and the sarpa kavu. It was there somewhere in the forest, and none of us went anywhere near it. We were actually forbidden from doing so, with some tales of snakes following us and biting us or bringing bad luck if we disturbed that area. Also not to go anywhere around it after 6 pm. Truth or myth, we followed just like we follow all our traditions and rituals without even knowing the significance of it.

When I was a kid, I belonged to the naughty kid category and so along with my cousins I have went as far as near the tree and touched it with my bare hands. My cousins had shouted at me and warned me that they would inform the elders leading to some small favours I had to do so as to avoid the secret from coming out. That’s fun, isn’t it?

In the recent years, the relatives who are currently owners of the land where the tree is, wanted to cut down the tree for money as they were in some financial crunches. Generations later, we always have this thought process, all the stories are fake, hence why not go ahead and cut it down. Still, a saint and a priest were called to get their opinions. (Ya, in matters of religion, it is always better to get opinions from people of different religion).

This meet up led to the shedding of more shocking information. The tree in question is the living abode of a king Naga and there is a Nagamanikyam, a precious gem costing millions under the tree which the Naga is protecting so if anyone dares to cut the tree, him and all will go through the wrath of Naga and all snakes and will be burnt to death. This instilled so much fear in all of us, we decided to find some other way to get money forget cutting it.

The greed for gem prompted us to ask the inevitable question, ‘so will we ever get the gem if we don’t disturb the tree?’ The answer was, I don’t know if it is true or false or just a getaway answer. It was, ‘as long as the Naga is protecting the gem, the tree will be alive, it can be 100 years, 500 years or a 1000 years. After that the Naga will leave and the tree will dry out on its own. At that time, whoever owns the land can clear the tree and its surrounding. now about the gem, the Naga will decide whether to leave the gem to the owners (our future generations) or to take it with him, no one knows for sure’. This is like the funniest answer we had ever heard.

In short, the present generation should have no hope to harness the riches of the gem, a future generation down the line could 🙂

“Even If It hurts You”

I will do what I want, Even if it hurts you

I will call your ‘friends’ bitch, Even if it hurts you

I will eat street food, Even if it hurts you

I will try to correct you, Even if it hurts you

You do What you want to do, Masala tea!!

——————————————-

You break the Decree, Even if it hurts me

Your level zero mentality is OK, Even if it hurts me

You lie black and white, Even if it hurts me

You take me for granted, Even if it hurts me

You do What you want to do, Masala tea!!

——————————————-

I get angry at your stupid logic, Even if it hurts you

I am super jealous of your popularity, Even if it hurts you

I don’t like you in Western attires, Even if it hurts you

I don’t like you in make overs, Even if it hurts you

You do What you want to do, Masala tea!!

———————————————

 

Learning to Drive A Car – Day 10

Oh finally the final day. How I wished it just ended.

Started, moved into traffic, spend 15 minutes in there. In that 3-4 times the car stopped. With this knowledge level, am I confident to take a car out? A big NO. Am I confident? Another big NO. Totally disappointed by the training offered.

I am actually wondering if all driving classes are taken in a similar fashion by other driving schools. See I mentioned another driver who taught well in one day. Am very thankful to that guy.

Maybe I had a wrong driver to teach. Imparting knowledge is an art. Only some can do it. The one who taught me certainly couldn’t.

I don’t know when is the next time I would lay hands on a car and improvise my meager learning. Anyway looking ahead for the opportunity.

Verdict: I wouldn’t recommend this driver to anyone.

Learning to Drive A Car – Day 9

The penultimate day of driving. It lasted 50 minutes. Nothing new. First and second gear. It was all about clutch brake maintain. I was able to cruise with minimal guidance on steering but am least sure of the clutch brake controls.

All through the drive, the driver was getting calls from the owner telling he didn’t pick another person at the same time, then he was explaining he called and it was out of reach and then he called that person and that person told he waited. Too much story leading to lack of concentration.

1 U turn, 1 reverse was done.

I just don’t know if this is all they teach in any driving school or is it just at this place. It’s like taking for the drive just to finish the hours. What’s the satisfaction that the driver gets? The satisfaction for imparting knowledge? I don’t think so. The satisfaction of having got all the money? Definitely yes!

Learning to Drive A Car – Day 8

Well, it started at 8.05 and ended at 8.50. What big deal, you might ask? Well it’s a big deal. Of the promised 1 hour, I lost 15 valuable minutes 😦 It was the first driver who hardly have any interest in teaching anymore. You know full time, he is busy on the phone talking this and that.

With the knowledge of last day, I started the car and went on smoothly. Was careful with the halves and the fulls. Car stopped only once or twice in between, that too due to negligence of driver, as he was busy on phone, he forgets to tell right or left turn. He would be so immersed in the call that until it’s time to change direction, he won’t tell. I basically like to plan well in advance when to turn and by how much, so that caused the car to turn off automatically.

First and second gear day with first half on second gear area even though the speed hardly crossed 20 kmph or the speedometer with accelerator. Second half was on the first gear with speed of 20 kmph with no accelerator. Took one time reverse (I still haven’t grasped the concept of reverse) and then took one beautiful U-turn.

It was hardly 8 kms in all for the day. Things left to learn include how to reverse and how to park the car properly. 2 more days to go…

Learning to Drive A Car – Day 7

I am going to be really honest here. The day didn’t start on a pleasant note because of yesterday’s cold experience. So I started waiting from 7.50 am and then when the car didn’t turn up by 8, made a call and was asked to wait. At 8.10am the car came with a new driver 😦 I was like ‘what the hell?’

Somehow got into the car and he started speaking in our Rashtra Bhasha, I was fine with it. But it was a different driving. Do not touch accelerator at all. Even when there is no traffic, no touch. I was feeling so angry and so fucked up, wasting my time on this.

After a while on humps he started explaining points like how clutch brake works, how we can get 18km/hr speed with clutch alone, how to drive in downhill uphill with demonstration, how to get speed of 5km/hr and all. That was interesting.

After that we learnt about reversing the car and did it 3-4 times. I felt happy to understand something and then do it. Then was taught about half clutch, full clutch and brake. So full clutch and brake applied, release to half clutch, listen for vibration and then release brake, move 10 feet forward, release full clutch. Then to maintain 1.5 feet from the corner of the road while driving.

One hour completed and said a thanks and got out.

Learning to Drive A Car – Day 6

The day it dawns on you that the driver is no longer interested in teaching you anything 😦 I mean he has taught you all basics and now what’s left is explore that. There is some occasional clutch brake control and slight left, slight right, other than that nothing, virtually nothing.

So drove for 8 kms today in 1 hour :O ‘that’s all?’ You might ask. C’mon if you are not allowed to even touch the accelerator and move with only clutch and brake, how much more kms can you expect to drive? And that too driving through the worst mud roads I have ever witnessed in Bangalore, you know the places where it was deep forest and was acquired at cheap rate by some big land mafia’s and getting converted to residential areas to lure the newcomers to Bangalore, ya the roads that lead to those areas are we talking about. It was essentially a torture to have today’s ride.

I feel that the 1 hour of journey is cut short by 9-10 mins these days, you know but somehow didn’t feel like complaining. Just 4 more days to go, why to pick up a fight and be cursed for life?